Unwanted Visitors

I was gone from home for about 4 days. When I came home I climbed up my ladder, which is a log with notches cut in it. Shortly after Rubén stopped by to visit. As he was climbing my ladder all of a sudden he stopped, jumped down to the ground, and started running away from the house yelling something in Emberá. Surprised and confused, I asked him what happened. He said, “There’s a hornets’ nest on your ladder! Those things really sting hard…” Sure enough, I looked and they had started a huge nest on the underside of the log where I couldn’t see. I felt bad for being so unwelcoming to visitors, seeing how people couldn’t even get into my house without getting stung by hornets. I thought maybe I could light it on fire and burn them out, but then I remembered that my roof is made of dry, very flammable leaves – not worth the risk. Rubén had the idea to use boiling water kill them. So I poured a pot of boiling water on the nest, and killed about half of the hornets. The other half were not too happy about that. Now my only exit from the house, which is 8 feet above the ground, was blocked by a raging swarm of angry hornets. Thinking maybe they would calm down and go away, I decided to get out of the house. I climbed out one of the windows away from the ladder to try and reach a floor joist that stuck out from the side of the house and swing down. As soon as I reached it and found my balance on this plank, I came face to face with a nest of large orange and yellow wasps. They had also made themselves at home, but in the roof instead.

Living in my house is a lot like living outside. Basically any living creature smaller than a Panamanian child can and will get into my house at any time: bats, rats, cockroaches, frogs, ants, lizards, scorpions, tarantulas, caterpillars, and of course mosquitoes and sand flies. While having a roof made of leaves is great for keeping the house cool, it has also developed its own ecosystem in the spaces between leaves.

When ants attack...

A few days ago I had an infestation of ants. And when I say infestation, I mean it was serious. I got out of bed early in the morning while it was still dark, and felt things crawling all over my feet. Then those things started biting. It was a terrible way to wake up. So I hopped across the floor to get my flashlight and discovered that the floor was moving. The entire house was covered in ants! They were everywhere - the floor, the walls, the shelves, the stove. So I ran out to the porch and jumped into my hammock, the only safe place. Apparently these giant swarms of ants come through and just eat everything in their path. At least they got rid of all the cockroaches and spiders and left after a few hours.

Keeping my food sealed in plastic containers and buckets only keeps the pests at bay to a point. The good news is that the old food chain works to my advantage, and some of the critters will eat the others. The bats eat the mosquitoes, the ants eat the cockroaches, the lizards eat the ants, and well nothing eats the rats. Until now…

Classic Calvin and Hobbes

The most recent addition to the house is my new pest exterminator. He is also known as a kitten. My neighbor’s cat had three of them and I was offered one. I figured it was for the best, since the cat needed a home I needed some help with the rodents. So now I share the bachelor pad with Hobbes. He is named for the stuffed tiger of my favorite comic strip. I guess our relationship not quite the same as Calvin and Hobbes, maybe not as entertaining. But I’m hoping to raise a trained killer and have a few less creatures visiting the house. 

Hobbes, my pest exterminator in training

Take it Easy

One thing that I’ve always struggled with is the idea that I need to constantly be doing, achieving, advancing. I mean I know that’s not true, that sometimes it’s good to just be still, but often it seems like it’s true. As you can imagine this has been even more of a problem living in rural Panama with a community of farmers. By now I’d say I’ve gotten used to the whole perception of time thing. As in how “after breakfast” is as specific of a time as you get. Or waiting for three or four hours at the port to hitchhike on a canoe to get home, and being okay with that. But it’s still difficult to deal with just how long it takes to get anything done.

 

Time moves at a different pace here

All my projects and seminars go
through Lilio- the village chief.

Thinking about how efficient and productive North Americans are is pretty incredible. I mean they can work eight hours a day without hardly taking a break, they meet all kinds of deadlines, and schedules are always packed. Here it’s well, a little different. Working all day takes too much energy. If projects have a deadline, it usually ends up being pushed back to a more convenient date. Honestly I think it has a lot to do with the climate (or lack of climate control). There are some days where it’s all I can do to get myself to leave the protective shade of my house. A few minutes of walking in the sun feels like running a 5k… in a sauna. Sometimes it’s so hot I can’t even think. I just lay on the floor of my porch and sweat, only moving occasionally to swat at mosquitoes. This is really great advertising for people thinking about visiting the Darien, I know. The humidity is just draining. Finding the energy to be active and accomplishing things can be a huge challenge.

I’ve already written about meetings and one of the Embera people’s favorite pastimes – talking. But that’s another example of things taking way longer than they should. Sometimes getting our entire water committee to have a meeting feels like trying to get the Muppets back together for one more show. I’ll spend an entire afternoon trying to find each person (Alberto? He’s off in the jungle somewhere, haven’t seen him in a few days) just to tell them that there is a meeting tomorrow, hoping that they’ll show up. It’s amazing how busy people become once they here about a meeting or a seminar. All of a sudden there will be an urgent trip to the farm to check on their plantains or see how tall their rice has grown. Certain tactics work better than others for convincing them to attend. Bribery with juice and cookies works most of the time.

You can spend a lot of time watching plantains grow

I don’t write these things implying that Embera are lazy people. Not at all. If lazy is filling a bucket with 40 pounds of water and carrying it up from the river, swinging a machete for hours just to mow your lawn, building all your own furniture by hand, or harvesting and hauling boatloads of plantains out of the jungle to try and make enough money to send one of your kids to high school, then yes they are very lazy. Really it’s just a different perspective on life. Being as efficient and productive as possible isn’t high on the list of priorities. I guess I could learn a thing or two from that perspective. 

Hello and Goodbye

Well, after what seemed much shorter than a couple weeks in the USA, I'm now back in Panama. It was a great time of reuniting with family and friends. So many of my dreams came true on this trip: being cold, eating sweet corn, sailing on Lake Michigan, not needing a mosquito net, and not sweating for a while to name a few. While I know it makes it a little bit harder to get back into the swing of things again in Vigía, it was totally worth it to come back and visit.

My timing worked out great as I was able to meet three new babies: Ellie - my newest niece, Maria - Tony and Angela's first addition to the family, and Charlotte - Shane and Kendra's three day old girl! It's hard to believe how much things are changing for these new families. I'm so glad I got to see them. Seeing my other nieces, Cora and Avalene, was also exciting, since they have grown up so much since I left the country.

Turns out Cora has quite the energetic personality

Baby Ellie sound asleep

Being away from my closest friends and family for over a year has made me appreciate them that much more. It was hard leaving again to spend another year here in Panama, but I know they will always be a huge support for me no matter the distance.

I love my family!

USA!

Well I’m very excited, because tomorrow I will be setting foot in a magical land called the United States of America! It’ll be the first time I’ve done that in about 14 months. I can’t wait to see my family and friends! Truly it has been too long. A lot of things have changed since I left for Panama it seems. There are two new babies to meet and possibly a third on the way; one of them is my new niece! Our family’s cottage on the big lake is gone, and a new one in its place. Friends have moved to other places, gotten new jobs, and started families. My nieces are not so little anymore. And I’ve just been hanging out in the jungle drinking from coconuts. No but really it is a strange thing to realize that life goes on while I’m here in sort of a different world.

The timing is great because I will be able to celebrate the most American of holidays, Fourth of July. Lately I’ve been dreaming of burgers on the grill, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes… Ohh I just drooled on the keyboard a little, that’s gross. Feeling cold will also be a wonderful experience, granted the temperature drops below 80 degrees.

Anyway I’ll be visiting just for a couple weeks, and then back to… normal? Something like that I suppose. So I’m hoping to see and talk with as many of you as possible during my long awaited vacation. Then maybe I can share a few stories in person.

Let’s Talk Emberá

A long time ago I told myself I was going to study really hard to learn to speak Emberá in addition to Spanish. Well I was hoping to be a little further along by now, but I’ve picked up a decent amount through casual conversation and just a lot of listening. People keep telling me, “How long are you gonna be here? Another year? Ah you’ll go back to your village as an Emberá professor!”

Emberá people really like to talk. And I mean so much so that much of their day to day communication is based on completely unnecessary interactions. For example I could be standing in the river rubbing soap on my arm. Someone walking by will ask me, “Hey Benjamin, are you bathing?” In which case my response will be, “Yeah friend, I’m bathing!” Then he’ll say, “Ok good, keep bathing friend!” Or if I’m sitting in my house eating fried plantains, someone will ask me, “Benjamin what are you doing?” And I’ll say, “I’m sitting here, eating fried plantains.” Then of course he will say, “Ah you’re eating fried plantains, that’s good friend.” At first I thought that they would just talk to me like that because my Emberá language skill was pretty limited. But I realized that they actually do talk to each other like that all the time. My favorite is when somebody comes face to face with you and asks simply, “Are you there?” Then I’ll say, “Yeah I’m here” And he says “Good, keep being there friend.”

Everyone has something to say in community meetings 

Since the community is being ever more influenced by Latino culture creeping in around them, Spanish is spoken more commonly. But just as there are certain things you can’t express in Spanish that you can in English, it’s the same for Emberá. The result is what I call Spambera, a mix of Spanish and Emberá. I’ve gotten somewhat used to it and even started using it myself. This makes it somewhat amusing when a Latino comes from outside the community and can only understand half of what we’re saying.

 

Discussions with some of the water committee 

The challenge of communication is especially apparent in community meetings. It’s one thing to sit and listen to a group of people talk in circles for a while. It’s another thing when those people constantly switch between Spanish and Emberá and talk for six hours straight. I’ve been getting better at interrupting people mid-sentence so that I can get a word in. It’s actually not offensive at all, since most of the time somebody is just talking to break any silence. Usually in community meetings when I stand up to talk, people quiet down to give me a chance. “Benjamin is gonna say something, everybody shut up!” they´ll say as I get up out of one of the tiny school desk chairs we use for seating in the meeting house. After I finish they’ll nod and smile and say “Bia bua djaba!” which means “That’s good, friend!” The purpose of the meeting is often lost in a sea of tangents about anything from where the best coconut trees are to asking if anyone has seen their horse lately. When I schedule community meetings I usually count on at least a half hour for tangents, and maybe fifteen minutes for Joel to tell some jokes.

As you can tell, Emberá are really good at talking. They’re pretty funny too, sometimes without realizing it. Over the past month or so I decided to write down some of the random things that people in Nuevo Vigía say to me.

Here’s a sampling of Vigían quotes:

 “Emberá people really like playing basketball, we just don’t know how.”

-          Lucio

“You need a woman to keep you warm at night!”

-          Everyone

“So in the United States, even little kids know how to speak English?”

-          Niño

“There’s nothing more to life except eat, sleep, and shit.”

-          Old man Francisco

“As the gringos say, there are a lot of fish in the sea.”

-          Rubén

“It scares me to walk across this bridge at night, I feel like I’m going to fall in and get eaten by a crocodile.”

-          Enilda

“Here in Panama we just vote for whoever gives us free t-shirts.”

-          Yonairo

“Benjamín, you need to shave that beard. You look like Osama Bin Laden.”

-          Joel

“See that old guy over there in the loin cloth? Don’t mess with him, he’s a wizard.”

-          Cholo

“You’ve been getting pretty fat lately. Eating lots of plantains huh?”

-          Joel

“NEIGHBOR! What are you doing neighbor?”

-          My neighbor, Merqui

“Your yard is a mess, maybe you should do something about that.”

-          My other neighbor, Gilberto

“Ben-ha-MEEN… Plash!”

-          5 year old Poroto

“I was gonna come to your house yesterday, but I got really lazy…”

-          Estela

“Wait, so you’re not cold right now?”

-          Yamisleth

“Oh no, you’re sick? It was probably that juice I gave you.”

-          Esmín

“I’ll help you work on that right now. But first I’m gonna go sleep.”

-          Felino

Filling Buckets

I think maybe every Peace Corps Volunteer goes through doubt, wondering if they can actually make a difference in their community. Those doubts have certainly been through my mind. When the changes you are trying to make are basically intangible, it’s even more difficult. But the good news is that every once in a while I get a nice pick-me-up. Usually it’s something small, an encouraging word from somebody. That’s what we call filling someone’s bucket.

For example the other day I was sitting in Linito’s house talking about how many different ways there are to cook plantains. As it turns out there are about seven or eight different ways: boiled, fried, grilled, mashed, double fried… Anyway the conversation turned to how much longer I would be living here, and he asked me what happens when I leave. I told him that if the community requests another volunteer from Peace Corps then somebody else will come to take my place. Linito thought about that and said, “But how could anyone replace Benjamín? What if we make a special request to your boss and ask that you stay for another two years?” I told him, “Okay, we’ll see what the boss says.” What I love about people here is how they are so accepting regardless of my perceived productivity or my value to the community. Since I’m mainly working with a small group, most people never actually see me working behind the scenes. And yet they still think it’s great that I’m here.

A different day I was talking with a few guys at Joel’s house over some plantain soup. We talked about Spanish gold hidden in the Darien and how I should quit Peace Corps and just become a gold hunter. They asked me what people back in the States thought about me living in the middle of nowhere in the jungle. I said people probably think I’m a little crazy. Now Leonurcio is a somewhat awkward guy, and very shy, especially for an Emberá. So it was unexpected when he spoke up and said to me, “You know people might think you’re crazy, but the Bible says that everyone thought the prophets were crazy too. You are working here in this community for a reason. God has a purpose for you.” I literally just sat there staring at him with my mouth half open; I didn’t know what to say. It seems that God speaks through unlikely people in unlikely places.

This kid's filling his bucket, a very small bathtub

One Year in Panama

As of today I have been living in Panama for a whole year. On May 2, 2012 I stepped off a plane into a blast of hot and humid air, wondering what I had gotten myself into. Oh, how far I’ve come since then. Let’s take a moment to look back on a few of the lessons (or just random facts) I’ve learned about Panamanian life as a Peace Corps Volunteer in the past year:

1.       There are only three times each day: hot o’clock, lunch o’clock, and dark o’clock.

2.       The rainy season changes everything.

I spend a lot of time watching chickens

3.       A plastic bag of frozen sugar juice is always worth the ten cents.

4.       Ahora means anything but “right now.”

5.       Fried plantains go with everything.

6.       A coconut falling on your head is a legitimate danger.

7.       Never bathe in the river at night.

8.       Endangered animals are delicious.

9.       Always keep your machete sharp.

10.   Just pretend you know what you’re doing.

11.   Roosters are the most terribly annoying creatures on the planet.

12.   Don’t worry, it always works out somehow.

13.   The bus will get there when it gets there. If it gets there.

14.   Kids are experts at getting fruit out of trees.

15.   Palm branch roofs are extremely flammable.

16.   English is a really bizarre language.

17.   Your mosquito net is a night time force field.

18.   The jungle will swallow anything if you leave it long enough.

19.   Build people, not monuments.

20.   Hold onto the small successes.

And the list continues to grow each day. This past year I have been on a path of mountains and valleys. I’ve had bad days, and really great days. There have been days when I’ve felt that I shouldn’t be here, and days when I’ve felt right at home. Through everything God has been teaching me his own lessons, when I choose to listen. One that keeps showing up is just how relational we are meant to be. I have to rely on my community every day just to survive out here. It’s exhausting mentally and emotionally to develop relationships with people who are so different from me. But I feel a push to always reach out to these people more, to pour myself out into them. That’s something I will continue working on for my next year of life in Panama.

Kids are always the easiest to talk to