New Opportunity

The decision of the Peace Corps to pull me from my community came with an offer of a new opportunity. Last week I decided to take a position as the Water Systems Coordinator of Peace Corps Panama. I will be giving technical support for volunteer water projects, assisting communities in the management and maintenance of water systems, and training new volunteers. Basically I will be traveling around a large area of the country and visiting a number of different communities.

This coordinator position is brand new which means I will be shaping the role for the volunteer taking the job after me. It’s a great opportunity to use my experience to have a wider spread impact within the Environmental Health program here in Panama. This also gives me a chance to see more areas of the country and work more with other volunteers on a variety of water projects.

Since I had so little time left, I will be extending my service until mid October, a few months longer than I was originally going to be in Panama. Tomorrow I will be moving to a town in the province of Chiriquí, on the west side of the country. This will be my home base to travel out to other project sites. It will be a much different experience compared to my previous living situation. I’ll have running water, electricity, and accessible roads, which will make my life much easier.

I knew I wasn’t ready to leave Panama after everything that happened. I’m glad to have this opportunity to continue the work that I had been doing in Nuevo Vigía, now on a larger scale and in a leadership position. This will definitely be another unique adventure to add to all the stories of life in Panama.

Happy Easter!

Unexpected Goodbye

Sometimes life changes fast. In just a few weeks I went from enjoying life in Nuevo Vigía, to losing my home and my community entirely and unexpectedly. Trying to process and reconcile that has been a huge challenge. Let me explain…

On March 19 I was sitting on my porch reading a book when Enilda, my neighbor, came and told me she heard about a confrontation involving police and drug traffickers the day before. Since I hadn’t heard anything about it, I called the Peace Corps office to notify them. Drug trafficking is common in the area, as many people cross the Darien Gap from Colombia to Panama by foot through dense jungle, carrying backpacks. There are many border patrol stations in the region to prevent this. It turned out that the incident happened within the region of the Comarca where six of us volunteers were living in communities within a half day’s walk of each other. The next day we left our sites to go to a conference in Panama City. While in the city we met with the office to discuss what had happened. The safety and security staff decided to do an investigation to make sure that the area was safe for us to return.

Peace Corps took about a week to meet with members of our communities, the police, and the US Embassy to discuss the security situation in the Comarca. Since it was an isolated incident, we expected to be cleared and sent back to our sites soon after. I was anxious to go back since it had been so long and I missed my gente.

On April 7 the six of us met with the Peace Corps Country Director. He explained what they had been doing to gather more information on the security situation. Then he told us something I was not at all prepared to hear: our entire region would be closed, evacuated, and declared a restricted area. We would not be going back to our communities. It was a punch in the stomach. I’m not sure what else was said in the meeting because my head was spinning. It felt like a bad dream but I couldn’t wake myself up. All my plans were shattered in that moment of realization that my time in Nuevo Vigía was suddenly over.

I knew I would eventually have to leave the life I had made there, but I didn’t expect it to be like this. I was going to use the next three months to mentally and emotionally prepare myself to leave, not to mention finish all the projects I had been working on and try to somehow say goodbye to everyone that I had grown so close to. To have it happen without notice is like falling through ice into freezing water. It’s shocking and disorienting. Thinking about how much I lost by not being able to go back and finish my time is painful. I will never again be able to experience what has become normal everyday life: cooking plantains in my hut, relaxing in my hammock overlooking the jungle, sitting on the floor in people’s houses and talking for hours, going fishing with my neighbors, playing with kids in the river, hiking out to fincas with a machete to collect plantains, sharing a meal after a successful day of hunting, or laughing as we try to speak each other’s languages. I am forced to appreciate all of these things so much more, because now they are gone.

I'm going to miss the Tuqueza River, bien tranquilo

Just a few days after finding out we were being pulled from the region, we had to make a final trip to our communities to have a meeting to officially close the site and collect all or our belongings. Due to transportation logistics I only had a matter of hours to do all of this - handing off unfinished projects, emptying my entire house, and telling people the bad news. The community meeting was one of the most difficult moments I’ve had in my two years in Panama. A member of Peace Corps staff came and explained to people what was happening and why I had to leave. When my turn came to speak I could feel my emotions welling up, and I could barely get the words out. I told them how in the past two years I had gone from being an outsider to feeling like part of a big family. I told them how grateful I was for how they had welcomed me into their home, taught me so much, and shared everything they had with me. Several people took turns speaking as well. They talked about how they appreciated the work I had done, enjoyed having me in the community, and were disappointed that I was leaving. Rubén, aka Super Técnico, also stood up to speak. Out of everyone that I’ve worked with in Nuevo Vigía, Rubén is the one I am most proud of. He spoke of how he had learned so much and had become more confident in his abilities because of me. I couldn’t look at him without crying, so I stared at the floor while he talked. I wanted to tell him how proud of him I was and how rewarding it was to work with him, but there was no time and I couldn’t keep it together anyway.

I'm really proud of how far Rubén has come in two years

Part of me really wanted them to get angry at Peace Corps and fight to keep me there. I was a little disappointed that they remained silent after hearing the news. I realized though that they couldn’t deny that there were risks involved with living in the area. Fulgencio, our water committee president, asked us if there was anything that the United States could do to help make their community a safer place. It broke my heart to hear the desperation in his voice. I can’t describe how terrible a feeling it is that they are in this situation, but instead of helping I am leaving them behind. How can I tell them that their home is not a safe enough place for me to live? They have no other option, no control of their circumstances.

I was not ready to leave Nuevo Vigía, but asi es la vida

Removing Peace Corps from these six communities is a huge loss for us as volunteers and also for the Emberá people. Even though I think the decision was the right one, it is still very hard to accept. These were all great communities that provided amazing opportunities to share cultures and knowledge. Although it’s really disappointing that the whole area had to be evacuated, I’m thankful that I didn’t have to go through this alone. I’ve been able to support and be supported by Andrew, Amber, Danielle, Shaun, and Justin through this whole process. Even as I’m getting ready to move on to the next step, I am having a hard time parting with my Emberá family. Fortunately I will be able to visit Nuevo Vigía one last time to have a despedida in May. This will hopefully help me to get better closure with everyone there.

Ultimate Frisbee Camp

A couple weeks ago I helped out with an ultimate frisbee summer camp that was put on by Peace Corps volunteers. It was a week long youth camp teaching kids about leadership and decision making through the sport of ultimate frisbee. Kids came from all over Panama, selected by the volunteer in their community. I brought two of my own, Ramiro and Heidi, who have been part of my local frisbee team in Vigía. It was really interesting to see all these 9-15 year olds interact with each other coming from different provinces, cultures, languages, and economic status. 

I brought Heidi and Ramiro to the camp from my community

Ramiro enjoyed the fancy hotel room

Since the camp was on the other side of the country from my community, the trip to get there was an adventure in itself. Several of us volunteers travelled together with all of the kids we were bringing from the Darien. Two days by bus with a 12 children is quite the journey. We called them our pollitos, or little chickens, because it was quite a sight to see them all following in a row through bus terminals and city streets. I felt like a strict parent sometimes trying to keep them in line. The stay in the hotel on the way was mind blowing for some of the kids who came from rural areas. Hot water showers, flush toilets, air conditioning, and TV are not things they often experience. I had to show some of them how to bathe indoors with running water and to flush the toilet. Fortunately we made all the way it without losing any little chickens.

Team Yellow: Golden Wolves (that's me with my face covered)

Throughout the week the kids learned how to through a frisbee and play the game, but also how to be a leader in their community and make wise choices. Using games and activities kept them engaged, and we even tired them out sometimes. It was great working with volunteers who had a lot of energy to motivate everyone and keep them excited. I've really enjoyed working with youth and seeing how much they can learn when you just take the time and give them attention. I felt exhausted after the camp, but it was definitely worth it.

Giving a talk on self-esteem

Everybody had a great time at Ultimate Frisbee Camp!

Building People

About a month ago I had to make a difficult decision. I had been working on preparing a community project to expand the water system in Nuevo Vigía. That consisted of designing pipeline networks, writing reports, filling out mountains of grant paperwork, making materials lists and budgets, on top of coordinating everything with community members. Since my time here is limited, there was a January deadline for submitting grant requests for project funding. While I was struggling to get everything done in time, I realized how much I was trying to rush things. In the process I was sort of leaving behind the water committee, the people who should be taking charge of the project. I’ve worked so hard to develop this group of ten people, helping them organize, raise funds, budget, set rules, and operate and maintain the system. That’s why it was so tough to accept that they just still weren’t ready for a project of this size, even if I was. The engineer in me was fighting the development worker with grand ideas of heading a big construction project. But in the end I knew that my desire to have something tangible to show for my time here was disrupting the timing for the community. They just need more time and experience taking care of things on their own. As if to accentuate that point, our pump stopped working, and we haven’t had running water for over a month now. We’re still working on that…

Mornings at the river in Nuevo Vigia

So I decided to postpone the project, accepting that I won’t be the one to finish it. There will be another volunteer coming to replace me after I leave. And while it’s hard to leave the work I’ve done to somebody I won’t even meet, I know it’s for the best. That volunteer will be able to build off the groundwork already in place.

I still feel great about of how far the water committee has come. I act like they’re my students. A couple weeks ago I decided to show off one of my students, a water operator that I trained in all the operation and maintenance of the pump and water treatment plant. Danielle, another volunteer in a community with the same water system that was just getting started, asked for help with a seminar to train her water committee. I brought Rubén (who I call Super Técnico) to this neighboring community to help with the seminar. I was proud to see this guy, who a year ago didn’t even know how to turn the pump on, teaching people in another community how to run the entire system. Super Técnico did a great job explaining all the technical processes of the water treatment and troubleshooting advice. The fact that he did a lot of it in Emberá was very helpful.

My student, Super Tecnico, teaching members of the water committee in a neighboring community

The whole time I’ve been here I’ve wanted to build something. Before I arrived in this community I assumed that’s what I would be doing. But I’ve learned so much about what people really need here, and I realize my job isn’t just working with a hammer and nail, but with people. Being the first volunteer in a community can be frustrating because people aren’t used to working with an organization like Peace Corps. Being here first, my job is to gain trust, develop a relationship, and give people the confidence they need to advance themselves. That doesn’t happen overnight. Funny how before I thought two years was such a long time, and now it seems too short. My time here is running out, which is scary. As strange as it is, this place is home. It’s very uncomfortable thinking about leaving. For now I still have plenty of work to do, and I don’t think I’ll ever be bored. For these next five months I want to enjoy this time with my gente.

This is Where I Live

So I made this video a long time ago, and now finally had time to upload it. This is basically a montage of moments I've had in and around my community over the past year and a half. Obviously it doesn't show most of what I've been doing, but it gives an idea of what life looks like around here.

Video: Tour of Nuevo Vigia

The Future of Nuevo Vigía

It’s last Monday, the late afternoon sun has cooled down a little, and I’m walking from my house on the hill down to the school carrying a sack full of Frisbees and orange cones. It rained earlier and my feet are slipping and sliding on the muddy trail. I cross the creek, go past the church, and come to the two long rows of houses along the river – downtown Vigía. Then I pull out my whistle, blowing it loudly as I walk. Looking up I see heads start poking out of stilted houses above me and kids come running from all directions yelling, “Benjamín, we gonna practice today?” I say, “Yeah, I told you that yesterday. Let’s go!” A parade of boys and girls starts growing around me as we make our way to the field. Ramiro and Luis jump down from a mango tree to join us. I see Delicio and Albeiro swimming in the river and yell at them. They call back, “We’re coming!” I tell everybody to warm up, empty the bag onto the field, and watch as discs go flying in all directions. And so another Ultimate Frisbee practice begins.

 

Get excited for Ultimate Frisbee in Nuevo Vigía!

My primary job as a Peace Corps Environmental Health Volunteer is to work with my community in the areas of clean water and sanitation. However that doesn’t mean I can’t do other things with my time as well. I’m free to choose my own secondary projects, which could be anything from home gardening to youth development. Having spent a significant amount of time in the same community as a development worker, I can see how behavior change is a difficult and painfully slow process. The thing is when people are set in their habits it can be very difficult to get them to change, even if it’s for their own good. One time I gave a talk to a group of community members on how to protect our water source from contamination. Miromel, an older guy, interrupted me to ask why the river was never contaminated before now. I told him it was, just nobody ever told him until now. I don’t stand much of a chance trying to convince an old man that he should stop drinking dirty water, when he’s been drinking from that river his whole life.

On the other hand, kids and young adults are more open to new ideas and well, more impressionable. Early on in my time here I realized that I could have a real impact on youth, which make up a large part of the community (almost half of the population is under the age of 15). So I decided to get involved with the local school. Unfortunately the education system is pretty difficult to work with which is a whole different story. Early on, the way I connected with the younger generation was through what they spend most of their free time on – sports. Their favorites are football (not the American kind), baseball, and basketball. The first time I brought out my Frisbee to play with the kids they were very intrigued at how that plastic plate, as they called it, flew through the air. After some of them learned how to throw it, I would get asked several times every day when we could play next. So with help from a non-profit called Ultimate Without Borders, I decided to start my own Ultimate Frisbee youth club.

 

Ken from UWB teaching some strategy

Reach for it!

I held an introductory Ultimate clinic with a couple other Peace Corps Volunteers to teach the kids the basics of the sport. They ended up having a lot of fun with it. After a few months of gauging interest level and teaching the sport, I now have an official team! There are currently 17 players, both boys and girls, from 11 to 16 years old. We’re planning on eventually holding a tournament with other Peace Corps community teams, so they have something to work toward.

I love seeing boys and girls go from being frustrated at not knowing how to throw a Frisbee, to having a big smile as they see the disc fly through the air out of their hand. During the Ultimate clinic one of the 5^th graders, Rumildo, ran up to me and said, “Benjamín, we’re learning!” Although challenging, one of my favorite parts is getting the girls to participate (boys normally don’t play together with girls, so it’s an adjustment). The other day during one of our practices Elizabela made a diving catch in the end zone to score. The boys were quite impressed. The fact that she was wearing a paruma, the traditional Emberá skirt, didn’t slow her down.

The idea is to use the sport as a platform for a youth development program. The lessons they learn about playing Ultimate, such as teamwork and positive attitudes, also apply to their lives. I’ll be taking them through a course on how to develop their strengths to set and achieve life goals. And they think they’re just having fun playing a game. Setting goals to work toward is sort of foreign concept to them. Most kids don’t think much about what they’ll do after middle school, if they even graduate. Many of them simply follow the footsteps of their parents and work in the fields. The fortunate ones that can continue on to high school in the nearest city will have more potential and opportunities. But if they have no direction or confidence they might not get far. My goal is to help this group be more prepared for their future.

 

All smiles going for the disc

If the kids learn nothing else, what I would like to get across is that sports are more fun when you have a positive attitude and build each other up. I see it from the littlest boys and girls playing marbles to their dads playing basketball, such negative attitudes that come with competition. When somebody makes a mistake, their teammates yell at them that they don’t know how to play (“¡No sabes!”). I’m trying to teach them to encourage each other instead of tearing each other down. One time I kicked a kid out of a game for saying, “¡No sabes!” Nobody else has said it again since. I give prizes to the best “bucket fillers” after each practice for those who say encouraging words to their team during the games. For them it’s a strange idea to use positive reinforcement, but they are starting to get used to it.

 

My jovenes learning about team spirit

After every practice I’m usually exhausted from trying to keep so many kids under control at once. I’ve never considered myself a natural teacher, so leading this youth group is stretching. But I think it’s worth it when I get to spend some quality time with attention starved kids. I know that they are the future of Nuevo Vigía, and I only hope that I can have some small positive impact on their lives.

I am planning on sending two of the kids from my team to an Ultimate Frisbee youth development camp in February. It will be a great opportunity for youth from all over Panama to learn how to be leaders in their communities. If you would like to support the camp you can donate at the Peace Corps website:

Donate to Ultimate Frisbee and Leadership Camp

Unwanted Visitors

I was gone from home for about 4 days. When I came home I climbed up my ladder, which is a log with notches cut in it. Shortly after Rubén stopped by to visit. As he was climbing my ladder all of a sudden he stopped, jumped down to the ground, and started running away from the house yelling something in Emberá. Surprised and confused, I asked him what happened. He said, “There’s a hornets’ nest on your ladder! Those things really sting hard…” Sure enough, I looked and they had started a huge nest on the underside of the log where I couldn’t see. I felt bad for being so unwelcoming to visitors, seeing how people couldn’t even get into my house without getting stung by hornets. I thought maybe I could light it on fire and burn them out, but then I remembered that my roof is made of dry, very flammable leaves – not worth the risk. Rubén had the idea to use boiling water kill them. So I poured a pot of boiling water on the nest, and killed about half of the hornets. The other half were not too happy about that. Now my only exit from the house, which is 8 feet above the ground, was blocked by a raging swarm of angry hornets. Thinking maybe they would calm down and go away, I decided to get out of the house. I climbed out one of the windows away from the ladder to try and reach a floor joist that stuck out from the side of the house and swing down. As soon as I reached it and found my balance on this plank, I came face to face with a nest of large orange and yellow wasps. They had also made themselves at home, but in the roof instead.

Living in my house is a lot like living outside. Basically any living creature smaller than a Panamanian child can and will get into my house at any time: bats, rats, cockroaches, frogs, ants, lizards, scorpions, tarantulas, caterpillars, and of course mosquitoes and sand flies. While having a roof made of leaves is great for keeping the house cool, it has also developed its own ecosystem in the spaces between leaves.

When ants attack...

A few days ago I had an infestation of ants. And when I say infestation, I mean it was serious. I got out of bed early in the morning while it was still dark, and felt things crawling all over my feet. Then those things started biting. It was a terrible way to wake up. So I hopped across the floor to get my flashlight and discovered that the floor was moving. The entire house was covered in ants! They were everywhere - the floor, the walls, the shelves, the stove. So I ran out to the porch and jumped into my hammock, the only safe place. Apparently these giant swarms of ants come through and just eat everything in their path. At least they got rid of all the cockroaches and spiders and left after a few hours.

Keeping my food sealed in plastic containers and buckets only keeps the pests at bay to a point. The good news is that the old food chain works to my advantage, and some of the critters will eat the others. The bats eat the mosquitoes, the ants eat the cockroaches, the lizards eat the ants, and well nothing eats the rats. Until now…

Classic Calvin and Hobbes

The most recent addition to the house is my new pest exterminator. He is also known as a kitten. My neighbor’s cat had three of them and I was offered one. I figured it was for the best, since the cat needed a home I needed some help with the rodents. So now I share the bachelor pad with Hobbes. He is named for the stuffed tiger of my favorite comic strip. I guess our relationship not quite the same as Calvin and Hobbes, maybe not as entertaining. But I’m hoping to raise a trained killer and have a few less creatures visiting the house. 

Hobbes, my pest exterminator in training