Filling Buckets

I think maybe every Peace Corps Volunteer goes through doubt, wondering if they can actually make a difference in their community. Those doubts have certainly been through my mind. When the changes you are trying to make are basically intangible, it’s even more difficult. But the good news is that every once in a while I get a nice pick-me-up. Usually it’s something small, an encouraging word from somebody. That’s what we call filling someone’s bucket.

For example the other day I was sitting in Linito’s house talking about how many different ways there are to cook plantains. As it turns out there are about seven or eight different ways: boiled, fried, grilled, mashed, double fried… Anyway the conversation turned to how much longer I would be living here, and he asked me what happens when I leave. I told him that if the community requests another volunteer from Peace Corps then somebody else will come to take my place. Linito thought about that and said, “But how could anyone replace Benjamín? What if we make a special request to your boss and ask that you stay for another two years?” I told him, “Okay, we’ll see what the boss says.” What I love about people here is how they are so accepting regardless of my perceived productivity or my value to the community. Since I’m mainly working with a small group, most people never actually see me working behind the scenes. And yet they still think it’s great that I’m here.

A different day I was talking with a few guys at Joel’s house over some plantain soup. We talked about Spanish gold hidden in the Darien and how I should quit Peace Corps and just become a gold hunter. They asked me what people back in the States thought about me living in the middle of nowhere in the jungle. I said people probably think I’m a little crazy. Now Leonurcio is a somewhat awkward guy, and very shy, especially for an Emberá. So it was unexpected when he spoke up and said to me, “You know people might think you’re crazy, but the Bible says that everyone thought the prophets were crazy too. You are working here in this community for a reason. God has a purpose for you.” I literally just sat there staring at him with my mouth half open; I didn’t know what to say. It seems that God speaks through unlikely people in unlikely places.

This kid's filling his bucket, a very small bathtub