Switching Between Two Worlds

I’m getting back into the swing of things here in Panama after my trip to the States last month. Back to sweaty bus rides, hammocks, Peace Corps family, wandering chickens, eating rice and plantains, and Panamanian friends. These two photos were taken only a couple of days apart. Needless to say it was an adjustment coming back again.

            

Michigan weather

            

Panama weather

My month in the States was fantastic! I travelled by plane, train, bus, and car to go and see as many people as I could. Spending time with family and friends was so much fun. I crashed at Nate and Emily’s and took some time to get to know my new nephew Arie. In Chicago we went to a concert downtown, to see the Lincoln Park Zoo lights, and to the Field Museum with Jon, Sarah, Avalene, and Cora. The girls were very excited about the dinosaur skeleton displays at the museum but assured me of our safety saying, “They were alive but not anymore, so they can’t eat us.” I also got to spend some time with Sarah and Andrew in Indiana, and tire myself out pushing Ellie on her lady bug car around the house.

Nice to meet you Arie. You're a very happy baby.

I had the priveledge of being Cora's special guest at the pre-school Christmas party

Ellie and Avalene get along pretty well

This was the first Christmas I’ve spent in Michigan in three years. While I was a little bummed about not having a white Christmas, celebrating with family did not disappoint. It was great to have everyone together again. I also had a chance to hang out with a lot of good friends and we did our best to catch up on life, but mostly just enjoyed being together like old times. It’s a real blessing to be able to come back to those friendships even after so much time apart, and still be close.

Avalene and Cora gave me some lovely artwork to bring back and decorate my room

I must say it’s kind of difficult adjusting between two different worlds, especially having spent a whole month away from “home.” Interesting how your association with that word changes when you are more nomadic than settled. Anyone who’s had to move to someplace different can probably relate to the feeling of confusion and uncertainty of losing your sense of home. My friend Tony gave me this book, The Art of Coming Home, which talks about readjustment after returning from living in a different country or culture for a number of years. Basically it says the idea of home isn’t just a place, it’s about familiarity of people and places and having routines. When you have normal everyday routines and predictable interactions there is a feeling of comfort, of being at home. Now it’s very different going for a visit than it is going back for long term. But the book mentions a lot of involuntary reactions that I can relate to about experiencing what used to be familiar. Even being back for a short time, I realized that I didn't have any routines there. Also people and places weren't quite as familiar; they've changed since I've been gone. Besides that, having gotten used to living in a Panamanian culture and adopting a lot of it, I am bothered by certain parts of the culture in the US. It’s not even the wealth or the wastefulness or the materialism. It’s more the social aspects like extreme individualism and lack of a sense of community. At the same time there are so many things I greatly appreciated about being back in the States. There is such great organization and positive work environments. The customer service was incredible. People have drive and strong ambitions. There is so much creativity with businesses and self expression, and opportunity to pursue a passion.

So have I become more patriotic living outside of the US? Yes and no. I am proud of what my country has been able to make of itself in a relatively short time, of the improvements in equality and anti-racism. I am incredibly fortunate to be able to live there and take advantage of so many opportunities that I most likely would never have living in other parts of the world. At the same time I’ve experienced a different perspective on life, a different way of thinking. Some of my values have changed. The changes aren’t necessarily good or bad. But I have the sense that having been exposed to a broader perspective I’m more open to trying new things and thinking creatively rather than just accepting what is viewed as normal. I think this is extremely important for interacting and developing relationships with people who are very different from me. As humans we tend to gravitate toward whoever looks like us, thinks like us, and acts like us. It’s always a healthy challenge to expand that comfort zone and accept that my normal isn’t everyone else’s normal.

All this to say that the mini readjustment was a little bit overwhelming. But my time in the States was overall an incredibly positive experience. It was a great reminder of all the ways God has blessed me with family and friends and opportunities.